BY JEFF BROWN
Just as with the animal kingdom, human females look for men that stand out. Different women have different preferences, but all gravitate towards...
men with distinguishing features. While the non-physical "alpha qualities" make a woman's feelings world go round, physical attraction is what catches her eye initially.
How you're assessed depends on:
There are 5 areas in which to make your self more physically appealing to women:
There are actually three main body types, and each has it’s own advantages and disadvantages. Knowing what type you are will greatly increase your potential to achieve a healthy physique and lifestyle.
The most common contemporary somatotype. For a man, the advantage is looking more mature at an earlier age, as well as appearing stronger, regardless of how much of it is fat or muscle.
The endomorph’s disadvantage is that they lack endurance due to the excessive weight and fat, which can also be detrimental to their long term health and life expectancy. They are heavier set in nature and have a hard time keeping extra weight off.
The second most common type of somatotype. These scrawny looking people like myself have a hard time putting on muscle.
I’ve actually discovered three advantages to being an ectomorph. First, I look younger than my actual age. People consistently think that I am 5-7 years younger than I actually am, which is good for the concept of “energy” that I'll be discussing shortly.
The second advantage to being an ectomorph is that we can more easily live a healthy lifestyle, as our metabolism is very high and efficient at burning off undesirable nutrients. It is easy for us to run and participate in endurance activities, as we don’t have as much weight to carry around.
Finally, when ectomorphs do find a way to build muscle, the “ripped” look is exaggerated due to our smaller frame. To visualize the dramatic transformations that ectomorphs are capable of, check out before and after photos for Edward Norton, and Christian Bale.
Other notable famous ectomorphs that have gone from skinny to beefy include Ryan Reynolds, Will Smith, Taylor Lautner, and Mark Wahlberg.
The smallest percentage of somatotypes, as they possess the ability to add and subtract muscle and fat rapidly. Odds are those of you reading this are not mesomorphs, and if you are, I hate you… not really.
The reality is that most of us are some mixture of two out of the three types. And understanding what type we have helps us to maximize our potential and of living a healthy lifestyle.
Height is about the only thing you can’t physically change, but even with it, you can cheat a bit by wearing shoes with taller heals, and by wearing clothing that accentuates your physique and makes you look taller.
Let me tell you the story of Willie, the "bad ass little pimp" as he like to refer to himself.
Willie was in fact not a pimp, but he made up for his height disadvantage, 5’4”, and his average looks, with the way he carried himself.
There was one girl where I worked, who was what’s known as a "bible beater.” She was pretty and had a positive personality. I went out with her once but she didn't like me, she liked Willie, which was weird because she was a goody goody Christian and he was a scruffy heathen goat of a man. I'm 6'2" - granted I was much dorkier back in 1994.
She liked Willie because of the way he carried himself. I would say it was similar to the way Mark Wahlberg carries himself. She liked him because he was exhibiting non-physical "strength qualities." You could see it in her eyes when she looked at him, the way she talked to him, the way she put herself around him.
Being shorter puts you at a disadvantage. You're going to have to work harder than other guys. That is reality. Doesn't mean you can't get girls though. Be like Willie.
I'm tired of hearing "I've just got bad genetics" from men, as if not being born looking like Liam Hemsworth or Brad Pitt has kept you from getting a girl.
BULLSHIT! If you have a hereditary terminal illness, then yes, by all means, f*ck your back genes. Otherwise, quit whining and start working on improving your body.
Men can get away with being more rugged looking than women. However, you will still need to take care of your skin, especially if you have acne.
From the age of 15-23 I had severe acne. I tried everything... Oxy cream, Stridex pads, raw eggs on my face, sun tanning, dry soap, moist soap… felt like ripping my face off multiple times. I wouldn't even look at myself in the mirror unless under a certain light. At 16, it was recommended that I take Accutane. It scared the shit out of me so I declined. At 22, fed up and freshly rejected by my dream girl, I took it and it worked well. It took nearly nine months to completely clear up. In hindsight, I wish I had taken it sooner.
Maybe you have a big nose, or a big forehead, or beady eyes. So what? That which you think makes you ugly might just be endearing to someone else. Men are also lucky in the fact that women put less weight into a man's physical attractiveness, than vice versa. It's more about your body and physique than your face to the vast majority of women anyway.
Even the musician Seal, which has very pronounced facial scars from a skin condition when he was younger, was married to one of the most beautiful women in the world, Heidi Klum, for ten years and had four children together.
And maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah, well that was a famous musician…”
Hell yeah it was! For musicians, especially rock stars, the uglier the better it seems. Take it as an extreme example of just how much non-physical qualities can make up for lacking physical attractiveness.
I’m not a proponent of Pick Up Artistry, but for any guy that tells me he’s too ugly to get a girl, I tell them to read The Game by Neil Strauss and look up his before and after pictures. Neil went from being an unnoticed extremely average looking guy, to a stylish lady’s man by shaving his balding head, getting a tan, utilizing trendy facial hair along with fashionable jewelry.
But, "My face is too ugly... I'll never get a girl."
BULLSHIT! Look up at Neil and tell me you can't improve the look of your face. Quit being lazy! Make yourself into the man you want to be!
While women crave a mature man with experience, that doesn’t mean they want a haggard looking old bastard.
Men put less importance into nutrition than women. Resist falling into this trap! Cut out the vast majority of junk food. Drink more water. Eat more leafy greens. Cut out the caffeine.
You need to give your body the proper nutrients to live a healthy lifestyle. You are what you eat. If you eat a bunch of deep fried, greasy, sugary “junk,” than that’s what your body will be. And I know, it’s hard to not fall into unhealthy patterns, especially if you have a very busy and hectic lifestyle. Luckily for me, I have a wife that is very health conscious, and provides our family with a wonderful variety of well-balanced, home cooked meals. Long gone are the days of stopping by McDonalds, Taco Bell, and the like. My body wants substance. I currently eat out once a week and I rotate between Boston Market, Chipotle, and a variety of sandwich shops.
Maintain a good balance of cardio and weight training activities. Join a rec. league in a preferred sport. I play racquetball.
Exercising regularly has a multitude of benefits. It releases endorphins which guard against depression, allows you to have more stamina throughout the day, and provides a more healthy lifestyle overall. One of the aspects of “Red Pill” philosophy that I completely agree with is utilizing weight training to both build muscle and boost testosterone. Again, that doesn’t mean you have to go to the extreme and look like Mr. Universe to get women. Even in moderation, weight training can have substantial benefits.
You have to give your body enough quality sleep at night. For some people that means eight hours, for others seven, and for others, nine. Just realize that if you try to cut it too short, your body will find ways to make up for the lack of sleep throughout the day, by either being lethargic and drowsy, or by even nodding off or napping.
Again, unless you’re a rock star, you’re going to need to stay on top of your daily hygiene. Take a shower at and wash you hair at least once a day. When I was younger I used to take a shower in the morning, as it helped me wake up. For the past 25 years or so, I take a shower at night, because it helps me go to sleep, and the idea of sleeping in my own filth doesn’t sound appealing.
Wear deodorant! Just spraying yourself down with the bottle of Axe doesn’t count! Get the kind that you wipe under your arms.
I’ve read where the “stank” from bad body odor actually comes from the dirtiness of the skin, and not the smell of the sweat itself. I can confirm from multiple long-term relationships that women love the smell of underarm deodorant, as they sometimes bury their face there and taking big whiffs while snuggling.
They even have pheromone parties where people find a date by sniffing their soiled clothing! Yum.
Studies into pheromones at this point are still inconclusive. I would not be surprised however if they did still have effects on our mating habits, even if minimal as compared to other animals.
Brush your teeth at least once each morning and at night. Don’t forget to floss! Be mindful of your breath and take the necessary steps to insure that it is fresh. You can utilize chewing gum or breath mints as needed. Take care of your lips in the cold dry season and keep them from getting cracked by using lip balm.
Keep your fingernails and toenails trimmed and clean. Don’t wear dirty clothes and underwear. Speaking of clothes…
“A Makeover and a wardrobe change can make meeting and dating women easier literally overnight. Not to mention the psychological side benefits of making you feel more confident, more interesting, more excited, etc.” – Mark Manson, Models.
Like attracts like. Dress according to the type of woman that you want to attract.
Want a preppy woman? Wear Kenneth Cole, Armani, and Ralph Lauren.
Want a Goth girl? Dress in black, dye your hair black, and stay out of the sun.
Want a biker chick? Start buying leather and chains.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what we wear and how we carry ourselves is worth ten thousand words. Remember, the vast majority of all communication is non-verbal.
One of the most memorable parts of The Game was when Neil Strauss described the strategy of “peacocking,” or dressing up in very colorful outfits, with crazy hats, sunglasses and accessories. It reminded me of my friend Bob growing up, who did the same thing, and also was very good at picking up women. Think of it like this, how do female’s in the wild choose one mate over another?
It is natural for women to be attracted to masculinity. That doesn’t mean you have to look like a lumberjack or Wolverine to get women, but you would be wise to tap into your masculine energy.
All other things being equal, a woman is going to choose a man that is more energetic and vibrant, versus one that is haggard and worn down by life. Honest self-reflection is HUGE. You have to take a long look in the mirror, and be accountable for both your strengths and weaknesses.
If anyone ever tells you that you can get any girl, they are lying.
The point I want to make to guys, in the nicest way possible, is that being "nice" doesn't give you the ability to score with more attractive women than yourself. If you want to date more attractive women, you either need to make yourself more attractive, increase your alpha qualities, or better yet both.
Ready to see how you stack up against other men?
Answer these 15 questions truthfully and I bet I can predict your overall success with women!
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Need one on one help for a specific situation? Check out my coaching page for how I can help you!