By jeff brown
Imagine if each woman you encountered had a readable interest gauge over her head- you know, like the classic "life bar" in video games...
This gauge would instantly let you see her level of attraction to you. No more guessing and confusion. No more fear of rejection. Lots more opportunities for sex! Ahhhh- life would be much easier.
I've got good news and bad news.
The bad news is mankind is still a long way away from the above scenario.
The good news is I can teach you today how to consistently and reliably gauge a woman's interest in you by simply observing her actions around you.
Buckle up, as we're going to start from the very tip top at the highest stage of a woman's interest "meter" and go aaaaallll the way down to the emotional abyss that is rejection.
WOMAN'S INTEREST RULE #1
It can move up or down depending on your inner strength qualities or lack thereof. More perceived inner strength = more interest. Less perceived inner strength = less interest.
As you read, think back to your romantic experiences with women, if you've had them, and how far you've made it up the interest ladder, or likewise, for each.
SHE PHYSICALLY ESCALATES
This is where you want to be right? Her going in for the kiss or rubbing her hand towards your crotch...
WHOOAAA! Wait just a minute. Women rarely escalate physically in the very beginning of a new courtship for the following reasons:
Once physical intimacy has been established however, and a woman has high interest and feels comfortable around you, then yes, absolutely women will initiate sex! Sometimes it will be verbally, and other times with their actions.
High interest + comfort in her own sexuality = her initiating.
One more time...
High interest + comfort in her own sexuality = her initiating.
Got it? Good!
SHE PROVIDES GRAND GESTURES
When women go out of their way to give of themselves and do thoughtful things for you, it’s a strong sign that they have high interest.
My first long-term girlfriend once drove over an hour from the camp she was working to come see me at work, and I wasn’t even there! She also would buy me flowers, clothes, bring me care packages, etc. in trying to win me over. The truth was I was still hung up on someone else. Different concept for a different time...
Either way, some women are more romantic in nature than others, but the higher her interest, the more giving she'll be of herself and her time.
SHE OPENLY SHARES HER FEELINGS FOR YOU
Have you ever heard a woman say, “You’re going to call me back, right?”
Or, “So I guess you’ve realized that I’ve liked you for a while?”
Or when you’ve been together for some time, “Where do you see this relationship going?”
And another popular version, “So what exactly am I to you?”
Other examples include:
All of these statements translate into, “You’ve got me. Now what are you going to do with me?”
More importantly, they all translate into high interest!
SHE PUTS HERSELF AROUND YOU MORE
When women have high interest, they gravitate towards you. It's a chemical feeling that makes them feel safe, secure, and aroused deep down.
The term "clingy" is thrown around quite a bit by guys, but they don't realize that most of the time it's just a woman's response to her high interest and feelings, and with time it subsides as her interest level stabilizes.
(This means you should take her wanting to spend more time with you as a good sign.)
Is she hanging around you and getting closer to you more often? If so, there’s a good chance she’s interested in you. Learn to take it slow and enjoy!
SHE PLAYFULLY TOUCHES YOU
Touching you non-sexually is a solid indicator that she's comfortable around you.
So how are you going to know if her touching you is more than platonic?
Physically escalate! Meaning kiss her or at least hold her hand.
SHE TALKS ABOUT FUTURE PLANS TOGETHER
It’s usually a good sign when a woman suggests hanging out with you in the future. It can be misinterpreted at times when she really just sees you as a friend, but for now, it at least shows that you don’t repulse her.
She might say, “We should go check out the local farmers market.”
Or, “You should take me to play racquetball sometime.”
Be careful with the following examples though, as the more selfish in nature her future talk is, the less chance she’s genuinely interested:
And even if she was interested in these scenarios, high maintenance selfish women are no good for morale and simply aren't worth your time.
The more she offers to contribute to the interactions, the better. The more she has you doing chores for her and wining and dining her, the worse.
HER BODY LANGUAGE IS RECEPTIVE
Never, ever, underestimate non-verbal communication. When women like you, they tend to:
Does she seem more alive and animated and happy when you’re near her?
If so, there's a solid possibility she's interested.
SHE ASKS QUESTIONS
The more the better. The deeper they are the better. She's trying to figure out how much she likes you.
From the simple "What do you do?"
Or "Where did you go to school?"
To "Have you been in a long relationship?"
Or "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Sure, some women are just nosy by nature, but when women don't like you, they have no desire to ask you questions about yourself.
SHE COMPLIMENTS YOU
Openly acknowledging the things she likes about you, from the simple “you look great tonight,” to more specific feedback on the various aspects of your looks or personality that she finds endearing is another good sign of interest
Be careful here though as this aspect can occasionally be a false positive, as classy women compliment a guy they’re not interested in to simply show their appreciation for his efforts.
The more endearing the comment, the better.
SHE LAUGHS AT YOUR JOKES
Women that have interest in you laugh at your jokes, regardless of how corny they are, because they appreciate your efforts to be funny and confident.
It's her way of building you up and making you feel good about yourself. Enjoy it!
Women that are interested are usually more agreeable. They agree to hang out with you. They look for areas to agree on life, values, interests. They're appreciative of your date choices and happy to hang out with you and have fun together. It's a scientific fact that we are more agreeable with the people we like.
These elements are at the bottom of initial interest for the simple fact that they're the easiest to be misinterpreted at times when she’s again potentially just trying to be polite, or enjoying your company more as a friend.
Remember, more conservative or shy women can have initial interest without showing it as much.
How do you know for sure? You physically escalate!
Women that are interested in you make it easy for you to see them and be physical with them. Women that aren't interested make it hard.
Speaking of which, now it's time for the dreaded "losing interest" section. That self-esteem crushing dementor that so many of us have spent way to much time with...
In relationships, you have a bit more interest runway when recognizing the following signs of doom. But in the early stages of a courtship, it’s usually too late when any of these indicators of disinterest show up.
Furthermore, don’t confuse this for the periodic occasions that she’s upset about something, which usually only lasts for a day or so at most.
When it goes on for days and weeks, that's when you know your heart's about to get sucked out and dark times lie ahead.
Again, this is referring to a long term trend, not directly after you've pissed her off!
Disagreements are a part of life and so are emotions. If you never argue, then you’re either holding in resentment and/or one partner is completely dominating the other.
It’s okay to argue from time to time, and there are more desirable and less desirable methods. But if the frequency increases, that’s where you have a real problem.
Part of her disagreements is that she’s testing you, and she’ll test you more and more as her interest goes down.
The other part is that she just doesn’t find you as attractive inside and out, and is starting to have less tolerance for your faults and deficiencies. The more you argue, the lower her interest is.
When her interest was high, she was able to overlook your occasional differences in opinion. But not anymore buddy. The gloves are coming off!
SHE PUTS YOU DOWN
Women are absolute masters of the back-handed insult. They've learned over thousands of years to mentally outmaneuver men when confronting them to avoid physical confrontations.
Their favorite weapon - well timed sarcasm.
"Yeah, think of if you would have just fixed it when I told you the first time..."
"Aww, did I hurt your feelings?"
"Well, I guess we wont be able to go (insert fun activity here)"
Passive aggressive is the name of the game here, and the lower her interest, the more she's going to let you know how you're not living up to her expectations.
“Put the toilet seat down!”
“Stand up straight!”
“Turn the lights off when you leave the room!”
"Why didn't you do x, y, or z.?"
She nags because she has less tolerance due to her low interest. While you should work on not being such a pig in the first place, some women have more of a tendency to "mother hen" than others. Just remember the higher her interest, the less she’ll nag.
SHE TALKS TO YOU LESS
This is by far the most common indicator of a woman (or man) losing interest. When we don’t feel comfortable being around someone, it’s only natural to not want to talk to them as much anymore.
The biggest mistake men make here is pushing harder to communicate verbally, when all that does is make things worse by her getting further annoyed.
This scenario is by far the most common way men screw up a woman's interest in the first several weeks and months of a new courtship.
UNRECEPTIVE BODY LANGUAGE
Does she avoid getting close to you?
Does she seem cold and distant?
Does she smile less and seem less happy around you?
If so, it's most likely not her, it's you!
SHE PUTS HERSELF AROUND YOU LESS
This goes hand in hand with talking to you less. We spend more time with people we like, and less around people we don’t. Unless she has a temporary or urgent scenario that takes her away from you, this is another solid indicator of loss of interest.
Is she turning down dates and opportunities to spend time with you?
She's losing interest.
SHE BECOMES LESS PHYSICALLY INTIMATE
Women that have moderate to high interest, that are sexually active, want to experience sexual things with you. Women that are losing or lost interest, don’t.
This scenario is a full out epidemic in long-term relationships and marriages. There is a reason for the astronomical amount of dead bedrooms out there.
It could take the form of a reduction in any romantic physical interactions, whether that be kissing, hand holding, snuggling, sex, and everything in between.
If the frequency is dropping off over an extended period of time, her interest is waning.
SHE FLAKES MORE
Inconsistency or being "hot and cold" is a sure sign that she has low to no interest. Again, when people want to be around you, they put themselves around you. When they don’t they make excuses and find a way to avoid you.
Always look at her actions over her words.
She says one thing, but she feels another.
It’s not her fault either, as consciously she’s trying to give you a fair chance, but it’s the subconscious that compels her actions in romantic love.
SHE OPENLY NOTICES OTHER MEN’S ATTRACTIVENESS
When women have high interest in you, they don’t give a flying flip about other men. They want to be with you.
On the other hand, if they have low interest, they start to notice the physical and emotional attractiveness of other guys.
Having class or a lack thereof factors on this one as well, meaning classier women will succumb to cheating less with the same low interest than a woman of low character.
SHE CHEATS EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY
When women have low to no interest, their heart starts to wonder (deep down they become receptive to others) and they begin developing feelings for other men. Depending on how morally and mentally strong they are, and how low their interest is, it's only a matter of time before they cheat if they're still with you.
If they're attractive and around men that desire them, then it will be sooner than later...
Realize for women, cheating is an emotional fulfillment much more than physical. If you were providing her with the masculine strength she needs, you wouldn't have her wanting someone else.
SHE GHOSTS, REJECTS, DUMPS OR DIVORCES YOU
Whether covert or overt, rejection is usually the point that most guys finally realize she’s lost interest. Then they look around and shake their head, complain to their friends about how women are cruel heartless bitches, and/or go post their frustrations on the dating forums.
Why are women so damed confusing!?
They're not. They do the same things for the same reasons.
But you want to know dammit! We guys want to fix whatever it is that got screwed up, at the very least so it won’t happen again.
Okay, here are the options for why you were ghosted, rejected, or dumped in the first several months of a courtship.
In short, you lacked inner strengths.
If you've ever noticed the long downward slide of a woman's interest slipping away in a long term relationship, realize that it's usually from you treating her more like a roommate than a lover.
Women want to FEEL your presence and masculinity, and when you don't allow them too, they lose interest over time.
WOMAN'S INTEREST RULE #2
When women lose interest, it doesn’t come back, ever.
Where exactly is that perilous point of no return. We don't know for sure, as there's no real interest "meter." All we can do is gauge her interest by her actions and purposely underestimate it in order to stay out of trouble.
The sooner you realize the resoluteness of the above statement, the better.
There are no do-overs with romantic love. Life is not a video game. It's a matter of survival to her deep down genetic coding.
SHE’S GONE. It SUCKS.
The bottom line at this point is you need to move on and learn to not keep repeating the same mistakes.
A woman's interest is your barometer for how well you’re doing as a mate.
From now on, each time you interact with a romantic interest, you should be checking both her interest in you and your interest in her. This assessment process is ongoing from the first interactions, on through the dating process, and even as a couple that’s been married for 40 years.
As long as you’re interested in her, and she in you, you should be assessing interest. Don’t worry; the process becomes more and more autonomous as times goes on.
Ready to see how you stack up against other men?
Answer these 15 questions truthfully and I bet I can predict your overall success with women!
HOW I FIGURED OUT WOMEN - THE REPTILIAN BRAIN
7 INNER TRAITS THAT MAKE ALL WOMEN FEEL CHEMISTRY
18 CONFUSING THINGS WOMEN SAY TO MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
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