By Robin Brown
I love science and am fascinated by the universe around us. The concept of gravity simply amazes me, the idea that all objects in the universe with mass pull other objects towards them. The larger the object, the more pull it has.
So we humans have mass, so do we pull others towards us?
Whether or not we are ever so subtly pulled toward one another via physics, each of us definitely has our own biological “gravitational field,” so let's look at three things that affect our gravity as women.
You see him from across the library- tall, dark, handsome, and he's in the library so obviously loves to read!
Match made in heaven! But he doesn't even notice you.
Like it or not, physical qualities are an essential component of attraction. It's the first thing most people judge you on, and you might not even get to show off your wonderful personality!
Physical qualities aren't everything, but they do play more of a roll than what many in society would like to think. Deep in our brains we are wired for survival. This causes men, as well as women, to subconsciously judge the healthiness of a potential mate. Unhealthy would mean that childrearing would be an issue.
Think of couples that you know, don't they just look like they were made for each other? If you’re wanting a guy who looks like Channing Tatum... well let's just say most of us probably don't add up. But don't despair, there are things you can do to up your game.
First, a super quick fix is to SMILE.
It's the most important thing you can do today. It tells everyone around you that you are worth being around and speaks volumes about who you are and your attitude.
Next comes hair, makeup, and clothes.
These are things that can change daily. When you wake up tomorrow morning, think about what you are going to wear, how you do your hair, and how your makeup looks. This doesn't mean you need to spend a fortune on these things. You can have the same 5-7 fabulous outfits that get worn over and over again.
As long as you still look and feel fabulous in them, it doesn't matter. HINT: Wear clothes that accentuate your figure… without looking slutty! Want a preppy guy? Dress preppy. Want a sporty guy? Dress sporty. Want a preppy sporty guy? You know what to do…
Last, long term fixes - overall health.
Overall health not only affects our weight, but muscle tone, bone structure, skin health and everything else. Ways to improve your health include exercising and eating healthy. There are plenty of blogs and articles out there on how to do both of these things, so I will just add my perspective.
EXERCISE! I believe the key to exercise is to find something you enjoy, and find someone to enjoy it with. That way you have an accountability partner (and someone to talk to while you do it). And who knows you might just meet Mr. Right there too! Yoga is my personal favorite for its ability to calm as well as count as exercise.
It’s hard to eat healthy on our busy and hectic lifestyle. You don't have to follow a vegan, paleo, low carb, etc. diet unless you need a drastic change, in which case please talk with a professional nutritionist first. Just make sure you maximize the nutritional food and minimize the food that is lacking in nutrition. Be cognizant of the nutritional content you consume throughout the day. Did you get a large amount and a variety of nutrients? Then you’re already ahead of most!
For men to experience your fabulous personality, you must be at least close enough to talk to them!
Whether online or in person, you most likely have pulled them slightly into your atmosphere with your physical qualities. So what keeps them coming in and not just bouncing off back into space? Your personality!
There are several good personality quizzes out there, but that's not all going to come up at any moment. There are two main things to consider here.
First, listen. That's it, listen. Don't be so worried about what you are going to say. Words will come if you truly listen to the person who is talking to you. You can lose a guy quicker by saying too much than not saying enough.
Next, how’s your general outlook on life?
It's amazing at how fast this comes up when talking to others. Are you generally a positive or negative person?
If you are a negative person, then you are more likely to be negative about them too. Think about it, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone with a bad attitude?
I don't know anyone that wants to do that, so don't be that person. Focus more on the positives. That doesn't mean you can't have anything going wrong in your life, just that you are choosing to find the good that can possibly come from it.
Hard? Definitely. Doable? Absolutely with patience and practice.
What if you just were told that you are being laid off at work, then while sitting at the coffee shop because nothing helps a stressful situation like a mocha frap, you meet your dream guy?
You would never have gone to that coffee shop during any other day. Instead of complaining about being laid off, which would be hard to do, talk about the opportunity you have been given to find what you've really been called to do.
I know during times of distress it's hard, but there is always something good that can come from a bad situation. The sooner you look for it the sooner you find it.
So your physical qualities have lured him into your atmosphere, and your personality has kept his trajectory moving towards you. Now let's see if he'll land!
The final aspect of your gravitational pull is purpose.
Purpose can take many forms, and only you know if you are living within it.
Depending on the stage in life you are at, this could mean career, it could mean school, or even something else. We are naturally drawn to people with purpose, because first, people with a purpose have passion. Passion leads to doing well at something. This is because let's face it, it takes time to do things well and passion will allow you to spend the time it takes to do it.
Once you are doing something well, you become more confident. Confidence cannot be overrated. Guys don't want a fixer-upper. Any work you are putting on him is a turn off. Even if she feels like she needs his approval, then he is going to have to do more work. And we all know how lazy they are. So do some soul searching and find the purpose you are meant to have in this world. Think about how can you help people. Who knows, you might even meet him doing your newfound purpose!
Having a purpose also gives you something to look forward to and keeps you busy until you find Mr. Right.
If your whole life is centered around your perception of a guy you haven't even met yet, think of the unrealistic pressure you would be putting on him to live up to that expectation. And, as again we all know, they don't want to do the work for us.
Girls who don't have a purpose in life other than getting married appear desperate. This makes sense because what else would they have to look forward to each day. Don't let life pass you by just because you are single. Life is out there to live. You don't get the time back.
Also, keep in mind desperate doesn't look good for anyone, but someone who has purpose and is just keeping their eyes open to possible prospects along the way - that's sexy.
Physical qualities lured him into your atmosphere, personality kept a conversation going, but purpose is what could get you the date you want with Mr. Right.
Imagine the guy you want to be with.
Think about his looks, his personality, and his purpose. All of those things make up who he is, just like they make up who you are too! The law of attraction says that like attracts like, so if you aren't already exuding those same traits you might need some work to pull them in.
Increasing your physical attributes creates more pull. Expressing your personality and having a positive attitude.
So how do you currently stack up against your dream guy?
Do you need work, or are you already in line with him?
If you are already in line, don't worry - keep pursuing your purpose and pulling guys into your gravitational field, the right one will land and stay. If you need work, make a decision to work. Things will not magically change. You must decide and commit to a change.
Questions? Thoughts? Let me hear them in the comments section below!
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Wife to Coach Tough Love. Mother of 3 zany girls. Lover of life.
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