By Jeff Brown
Viewer discretion is advised. (Seriously, humans doing stupid stuff but I think they all lived...)
Reality can be a tough freakin’ concept to wrap one's head around, and I feel like a broken record saying it to the people I’m coaching at times, but the cold hard truth is the more you go against reality...
the more pain it will cause, and the closer you are to reality, the happier and more fulfilled you’ll be.
Reality, as defined by Merriam Webster:
(You know it’s about to get serious when the definitions come out)
“The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.”
Specific "realities" certainly can and do overlap at times, so below are my definitions to each.
THE REALITY OF NATURE
This includes the laws of physics, biology, and chemistry- science! Think about the physical ramifications of the following:
You’ve probably seen more of this type of Darwinism in action on YouTube fail videos. Reality likes to take its biggest toll on humans that have the poorest decision making ability.
Notice how these have all been men? 4 out of 5 of these videos are. Probably something to do with our ego's... I did find this ill advised plan by two bikini clad women though.
THE REALITY OF CHANCE AND PROBABILITY
What are the odds? Think about the potential ramifications of the following:
THE REALITY OF SOCIETAL NORMS
What society says is correct. Think about the societal ramifications of the following:
As you can clearly see, ignorance isn’t always bliss. What you don’t know can most definitely hurt you and negatively impact your life.
And you may be thinking, "Coach, this is all great and I like watching people do stupid stuff, "but what the hell does this have to do with my dating life?"
It has everything to do with your dating life.
The going against dating reality pain is just much more often long term emotional distress instead of immediate physical danger.
Longing for someone who isn’t romantically interested in you is one of the greatest going against reality dating pains today.
Think of all the potential time and life experiences wasted pining over someone that doesn’t have feelings for you and never will, versus just quickly attempting to intrigue and date her and then moving on if they're not interested.
How many times have you seen the longing train, where John likes Jane but Jane likes Jesse- and Jesse likes someone else?
And even though emotional distress over dating is at epidemic levels, there are horrific physical manifestations as well.
How many times have you seen or heard of a woman being physically assaulted, raped, and even murdered by men that can't control their primal emotions?
Men. Honestly, how many of you have physically or sexually abused a woman?
It's time to stop the madness and break this vicious cycle!
THE REALITY OF PERSONAL ABILITY
Make no mistake– knowledge is power. Your personal reality can definitely change.
It takes time, patience, and determination, but if you want it badly enough, that shouldn’t be a problem. The realities of dating and romance are just more subtle and harder to define due to the societal stigma around the concept of love.
Here are a few little known truths for men:
Here are a few little known truths for women:
Here are a few little known truths for both:
We can believe whatever the hell we want, but reality is unyielding. Reality doesn’t give a flip about your beliefs. Reality can be a cold-hearted bastard if you decide to go against it.
From personal experience, I highly recommend going with it, as my past 15 years have been much more fulfilling than the 27 before.
Need one on one help for a specific situation? Check out my coaching page for how I can help you!